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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28246209">Echoes</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marylou11/pseuds/Marylou11'>Marylou11</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Orphan Black (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Angst with more angst, Character Study, Family Issues, Gen, Introspection, Lande di Fandom, Maritombola 11, Mention of Minor Character Death, Post-Finale, Really it's just 400 words of angst</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 01:29:23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>447</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28246209</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marylou11/pseuds/Marylou11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>She could not care less about the weirdest family reunion of the century, let alone be part of it.<br/><i>(She almost begged Felix to let her in.)</i><br/>It isn’t even her family. She doesn’t have a family.<br/><i>She lost her father twice. The second time she lost him, he died in her arms. </i></p><p>-</p><p>Rachel thinks about her life on the way to the airport, after having talked to Felix and being left out at the baby shower.<br/>Set just after the series finale.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Lande Di Fandom</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Echoes</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Written for the initiative "Maritombola 11" organized by Lande di Fandom's.<br/>Based on prompt "Sadness". </p><p>I love Rachel, and I love seeing the character I like suffer. I'm sorry, Rachel.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <h2>Echoes</h2><p> </p><p>The car keeps smelling like Felix, like campfire, far after he is gone. Smoke and perfume and ash.</p><p>Rachel shudders, rubbing her temples with her fingertips.</p><p>She does not care</p><p>
  <em>(She cares too much.)</em>
</p><p>She could not care less about the weirdest family reunion of the century, let alone be part of that.</p><p>
  <em>(She almost begged Felix to let her in.)</em>
</p><p>It isn’t even her family. She doesn’t have a family.</p><p>
  <em>She lost her father twice. The second time she lost him, he died in her arms. </em>
</p><p>She lets out a long sigh and sees Yusef trying to take a glance at her through the wing mirror.</p><p>«Family issues», she says out loud, somehow needing to explain herself.</p><p>«I wouldn’t know. Never had one», he replies casually, like he was talking about the endless traffic they were stuck in.</p><p>Rachel is too good at reading people’s feeling for her own good.</p><p>She perceives the hint of melancholy, the hint of sadness.</p><p>
  <em>It sounds like the sadness that echoed in her scream when she saw her father die, just calmer, tamed by the years.</em>
</p><p>She decides she cannot afford to care about her Uber driver now.</p><p>She allowed herself to care the slightest about all her pseudo-families at some point and she lost them all.</p><p>She finds that sadness in herself again and she loathes it.</p><p>
  <em>She loathes herself.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Alone, broken. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Left behind. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>On the run. </em>
</p><p>She has betrayed everyone she has ever cared about; everyone she has ever tried to love.</p><p>She lost it all for a family that isn’t hers, a family which won’t even let her inside the garden.</p><p>She is running away – Rachel never runs away – because she just made herself a good number of enemies and no friends at all.</p><p>When Yusef parks in front of the airport and unloads her luggage, Rachels finds herself struggling to get out of the car.</p><p>Smell of smoke, perfume, and ash.</p><p>Now that she must leave it, she finds herself almost enjoying it.</p><p>She gets off the car slowly, and there it is again – that echoes of sadness, that loneliness.</p><p>She even says goodbye to Yusef.</p><p>She never really cared about greeting her subordinates.</p><p>
  <em>She has no subordinates now. </em>
</p><p>She is nobody.</p><p>Just another clone on the run, one of many.</p><p>Knowing she will never be able to settle in.  </p><p>She never wanted a normal life, but at least she wanted <em>a life</em>.</p><p>She is just another sad, broken clone, thrown out with the garbage.</p><p>When the plane takes off, she lets herself shed one tear.</p><p>She wipes it away as she thinks of a new identity for herself.</p><p>She decides she’ll name herself <em>Charlotte</em>.</p>
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